ARI Working Paper Series

Although the proportions remain relatively small compared to its neighboring countries, statistical trends indicate that the incidence of postponed marriages in Indonesia is growing, especially among urban people. Utilizing the 2000 Indonesian census data and in-depth interviews with 35 never-married women aged 30 years and over, this study aims to describe the patterns and gender differences of never-married adults in two Indonesian cities: Yogyakarta and Medan. It also explores the lifestyles of never-married women. These include the process of remaining single, views toward marriage and family, how they cope with pressures to marry and social stigma of being single, and their relationship with family of origin and friends including intimate relationships.

The study found that while marriage remains a desirable state for most Indonesian women, increasing opportunities to study and enter the labour force and changing expectation toward marriage have led some women to postpone their marriage. Despite the pressure to marry and social stigma attached to never-married women, some women in this study showed that single women can also live ‘happily ever after’, especially when they can adapt to the way many people, including families and friends, treat the never-married.